


The Time I locked Myself Out

by Moarmy_Activist



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Choi Soobin Being An Idiot, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, No Smut, OT5, Other, Polyamory, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moarmy_Activist/pseuds/Moarmy_Activist
Summary: Soobin realizes how the members have been avoiding him recently. Could it be their way of wanting to break up?
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Everyone, Choi Soobin & Everyone, Choi Yeonjun/Everyone, Huening Kai/Everyone, Kang Taehyun/Everyone
Kudos: 59





	The Time I locked Myself Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a simple short story but it took a while.  
> Soobin being an idiot. Thats it. Thats the fic.

Soobin didn't want to admit it, but he thinks the other members are becoming distant with him. He doesn't know why though. It started out with Teahyun during dance practice. He passed a water to the elder without batting an eye. Though, Soobin didn't think much of it at first because he knows that Tae isn't the type to express himself as much as the others. Then it was Beomgyu, which started to make him suspicious. Since he was his roomate, small conversations here and there became a routine to the two. But for the past couple days, it seemed as if Gyu was pretanding he wasn't even there. Even when Soob tried to start a discussion, he replied with simple responses and went back to scrolling through his phone. Then it was Yeonjun. THIS was when Soobin started to realize. Yeonjun isn't the type of person to avoid physical contact. He basically acts as if he needs to touch someone to live. So when Soobin noticed how he would always lean away from him, or how he would slightly push against his hugs, it really did a number on him emotionally. He couldn't understand why his hyung wasn't into him anymore. Thoughts of 'am i getting ugllier' or 'do they not want to be with me anymore' flodded his brain. But he soon remembered. "Huening!" he thought. Huening must still love me! He's my little gum after all." Repeating similar statements in his brain were starting to make him feel better, it helped him stray from the feeling of abandonment. That is, until he tried to hang out with the younger. 

"Hey Kai, do you want to go shopping with me? I'll buy you a new plushie if you're nice~" 

"A-ah hyung," he stuttered, "that sounds great but uhm... i planned on doing something with jungkook-sunbaenim." 

"Oh, well okay then. Have fun." 

He didn't feel upset that the other was busy, and he didn't mind going to the store on his own. But when he was walking back, he spotted Jungkook walking back into the company's building. "Ah," Soobin ran up to catch his attentioon, "Jungkook-sunbaenim." The older maknae sofly chuckled and turned to face the tall boy. "Please, for the last time, call me hyung..." "O-oh yeah sorry!" He bows, trying to hide his embarressed face. "But i was going to ask you. Did you and Huening Kai finished early, or are you going out with him now?" Jungkook tilted his head, puzzled.

"Kai? What do you mean?" 

"Uhm, didn't you have anything planned with him today?"

"No, not that i know of. The only thing I have planned today is that movie i promised Rapmon-hyung we'd watch. Why, did he want to do something?"

Soobin couldn't believe what he was hearing? Did Jungkook forget or... No. He wouldn't do that... would he?  
"Soobin-ssi?" Jungkook waved his hands to snap him out of his thoughts. 

"A-ah! No i'm sorry, i was thinking of something else. But, i think i should go back to my dorm. I'll see you later sunbaenim!" Soobin rushed out his words before running to his destination, leaving Jungkook clueless. 

"It's hyung! Not sun- ah nevermind."

~~~

He doesn't believe it. He doesn't believe it. It can't be true. It just can't be.   
He kept forcing this idea into his head while running to the dorm, trying not to get upset from something he doesn't know is true yet. Once he got there, he opened the door quickly, which startled the boys inside. He looked over at the kitchen to find all the boys preparing and eating dinner, including Kai. Soobin's heart sank. He couldn't think about what to say, he just stood there trying to gather his thoughts. "Oh, hyung" Beomgyu spoke, "We just finished making dinner? You want us to make you a plate?" He tilted his head slightly, brows furrowing. "No," was all he said before walking towards his bedroom. "A-are you sure hyung? We made enough for all of us so there would-" "I said no." And with that he slammed the door behind him shut. He took off all of his clothes and shoes and threw himself on the bed, covering his face with a nearby pillow. It was true. His members, his hyungs, his lovers. They didn't want to be around him anymore. The more he repeated this to himself, the more tears forced themselves out, wetting the pillow and making it damp. He felt useless. He felt unwanted. It was as if all of them had broken up with him at the same time. He didn't know what to do with himself, and he ended up passing out from all the crying, even with his stomach was growling. He couldn't go out, not when they were out there.

~~~

It was 5 minutes before the Music Bank, and 2 days after Soobin's breakdown over the members hating him. Him and Arin were going through their lines with the group being interviewed. And wouldn't you know, the goup so happens to be Tomorrow x Together. As they're practicing, the 4 would laugh at little ideas they had for the real show. He looked at all of them smiling and giggling like little kids. He hated it. He hated how they made so much jokes. He hated how they made him and Arin laugh. He hated how funny they were. He hated how much he wanted to make them laugh more, and smile, and hug them, and kiss-. "You okay Soobin-ssi?" Arin patted his shoulder. "A-ah. yeah i'm fine, sorry. I was just thinking about something." "Hehe, well don't 'think' while we're live alright. C'mon." They organized their cue cards and walked out with the boys, waiting for the director to start the show for them. The interview was just like others, the only difference being that Soobin couldn't hide how sad he was even when he pulled a smile on. He couldn't laugh at their jokes. It was overall pretty difficult for him. 

When it was all over he returned to the room with the 4, to get ready to go home. "Hyung why did you look so awkward today?" Kai laughed. He ignored him, grabbing his phone and other necessities. "Yeah seriously," Beomgyu added, "You looked like you needed to go to the bathroom!" They all laughed loudly, except for him. He started to get upset. The youngest continued to laugh extremely loud, while slowly rocking Soobin back and forth. After a while, he had enough. He shoved kai off of him, a little harder than he intended, and caused him to stumble backwards. He closed his fists and stared deep into the fallen boy's eyes. "I'm going to wait outside." he barked. The other watched speechless and he swung open the door and walked out. Immediately after exiting the building, he felt guilty for pusing Kai on the floor. He didn't want to hurt the boy accidently. Even though he's heartbroken from them, he would never think to harm them in any way.

~~~

Hours later, Yeonjun walked up the Soobin with a stern look on his face that made him shiver. "We need to talk." he says. "Uhm, okay." he replies.

"Now."

"O-oh."

He ended up following Jun to his shared bedroom. They both say down on different beds, looking at each other, one pair of eyes looking more intense than the others. 'Maybe this is Yeonjun's way of saying he want to break up' Soobin thought to himself. Before he can go any deeper into those ideas, Yeonjun spoke. "You had no reason to push Kai that way today."

"Wh-what?" Soobin questioned, being caught off guard.

"The way you pushed him to the ground today was uncalled for. We understand how you're feeling right now, but that gives you no excuse to do something like that."

"E-excuse me? That's what you're here for? You guys were making fun of me, it was upsetting!"

"We make fun of each other all the time Soobin, why are you a special case?"

"I never said I was!"

"Then stop acting like it!"

That hurt him a lot. They thought he was being overdramatic. They really do hate him don't they?  
"Oh fuck off Yeonjun!! Stop acting like you've never acted like you were a special case. That's all your personality is!"

Yeonjun's face started to scrunch up. "What is going with you lately?! We've been trying our best to give you space and you're going around being agitated and shoving our maknae?? Do you know how much he cried afterwards? Do you know how he felt when you slammed the door on us?!"

Soobin's expression took a full 180. He didn't know that Kai cried because of his pushing him over. He stared at Yeonjun in horror, fighting back the tears that were building up in his eyes. The oldest saw the change in mood, and paused to study what it meant.

"I... I made him cry?" 

Soobin asked, his voice quiet. He looked down at his hands, unable to stop the flowing of tears down his face. At that moment, he had felt like the worst person in the universe. Yeonjun didn't like seeing him cry like this, but he can't back down and comfort him right now. He needs to make him understand what his actions were doing to the others. 

"I'll let you gather yourself for a moment, and then we're going to talk. All of us. I'll come back in 10 minutes." Yeonjun quietly spoke as he exited the room. Soobin never looked up at him, he just sat there bawling into his shaking hands. 'They're going to break up with me,' he repeated to himself.

'They're going to leave me.'

~~~

The four boys sat in the livingroom waiting for their leader to exit the room. Taehyun sat on the floor in front of Beomgyu, who was sitting on the chair and playing with his hair, and Kai laid into Yeonjun's arms while he rubbed his shoulder and kissed his forehead. The room was quiet the entire time they were waiting, but then they heard the door open. Everyone became tense, and the air became thicker. Soobin walked out slowly, glancing at the others but then regretting it and started to look at the floor. He sat at a spot away from the others, but close enough to be in the area. 

No one spoke for a while, they just sat there with their heads down. Kai hated seeing his hyungs like this, quiet and sad, especially his gum. He would usually go into the bedroom for plushies and blankets to cover them with, and then give them lots of kisses and comforting words. Unfortunately, he knew that now wasn't the time for it, he wouldn't want to make him upset again.

Yeonjun really couldn't handle it anymore. everyone looked like they were in so much pain, it needed to end now. He opened his mouth to speak, but someone had beat him to it.  
"I know how you guys feel." 

It was Soobin. They all looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I've been trying to avoid talking about it but..."

He's crying again, this time it's stronger. It changed everyone's expression, especially Kai. It looked like he was about to cry as well. Yeonjun felt him shaking in his arms, so he rubbed circles around his back to comfort him. He honestly wished he could do the same to Soobin. 

"I get it, i get that what i did was wrong and i'm... god Kai i'm so sorry..."

Kai was crying now, surprising that he was able to hold out for so long. He tried to wipe and hide them, but Yeonjun was ahead of him, wiping his cheeks and giving soft kisses on his neck. Beomgyu had also started to tear up and had started sniffling in front of Taehyun. Tae then immediatly held his shoulders and softly squeezed them, trying to hold back his own tears.

"I never meant to hurt you guys. I was just... so upset when you guys started to avoid me and..."

"W-wait, avoid you?" Yeonjun intervened, "soobin we were never-"

"No," Soobin spoke again, "you don't have to lie to me. I know how you guys feel. No matter how much i ignore it, there's nothing i can do to change how you guys feel about me. Which... which is why..." 

Soobin hestitated on what he wanted to say for a moment, but then stood up in acceptance and looked at everyone. 

"...Which is why I'm quitting the group."

...

The room was suddenly loud with everyone going 'WHAT??!' 

"H-HYUNG! YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE GROUP... YOU CAN'T LEAVE US!" Kai stood with a shout.

"I-i have to! How will i continue to be in the group without it being awkward??"

"Hyung what are you talking about?" Beomgyu joined in. "What do you mean by awkward?!"

"Wh-don't you think it's weird to still be in the group if we're not together?"

"WHAT??!"

The room became loud again. They all collectively showed how confused they were to the leader. Yeonjun had honestly had enough.  
"Soobin," he began, quieting the room, "do you... do you think we don't love you anymore?"

"Well... y-yeah." the other admitted.

"Soobin... why would you even think that? We don't hate you, and we sure as hell don't want to break up with you."

"B-but... you all we're avoiding me. You wouldn't talk and-and Kai lied to me about being busy so he wouldn't have to go out with me."

The others were starting to catch on to what he was saying and, without warning, they started to laugh with tears still in their eyes . This, of course, made Soobin confused.  
"Soobin, we weren't avoiding you because we didn't want to be with you, we were giving you space because we know you've been really stressed out lately. We made sure not to mess with you or cause trouble, and Beomgyu gave you privacy in your bedroom so you can relax without worrying."

Soobin listened carefully while darting his eyes. Were they really just trying to give him space? But is so...  
"Wait, but then why did kai lie to me, why was he trying to joke with me after the Music Bank?"

"I lied to you because the others told me that i should let you go alone," Kai answered, "so I wouldn't stress you out. I started to joke around with you at the Music Bank because I couldn't take seeing you so upset anymore. I asked Yeonjun-ssi if i could try making you laugh and he refused at first, but then he gave me a chance after i had begged."

"But when you got upset because of it," Taehyun added, "Kai got really sad and thought that he should've just listened to hyung in the first place. He just wanted to make you happy."

"...And i hurt him..." Soobin couldn't help but saying.

It was slient for a while, but only for a while. Kai stepped closer to his gum and quickly wrapped his arms around him.   
"Soobinie, you could never hurt me. I love you too much, we all do."  
The others gathered around the two and added extra comfort, hugging each other tightly and kissing their foolish leader.  
"I... i love you guys too." They stayed in each other's arms for a while, talking and sometimes laughing at how their leader could be so foolish while kissing him senselessly.   
"God I can't believe all of that just happened. Did i really just think about leaving this group and my boyfriends? What the fuck is wrong with me?" he spoke aloud.

"Hyunggg! Language!" the youngest puffed up his cheeks.  
But even in his head he was asking the exact same thing. Did his gum really just try and abandon them? What an idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> this took a couple days to do, but im honestly happy with how it came out. I know its short but dont worry, other fics are coming out real soon. If you have any suggestions, comment and tell me :^)


End file.
